Michael Carr, Coach and Trainer, Michael Carr Coaching Ltd
I'm a coach and trainer with over 20 years of experience as a leader in education, including seven years as a headteacher. I work with people from a wide range of industries, backgrounds and situations empowering them with their professional and personal growth.
I help people who maybe feel a bit stuck to have new insights and breakthroughs and grow their confidence. I love seeing the huge impact this has on them and their personal and professional lives.
I live in the beautiful city of York with my wife, an assistant headteacher and our three boys (one at university in Manchester). I'm a huge Hartlepool United fan and love my trips further up north to watch them play with my dad.
What do you like about your current role?
What I love most about coaching is seeing the impact of the work that I do. Seeing people grow, make changes and do things they really wanted to do but either lacked the confidence or was just easier to just put off or ignore. Used properly, I believe that coaching is such a powerful tool that empowers people to take ownership of their own life.
When I work with people, I don't tell them what to do. I become the best listener in their life. I ask them the right questions. I give them time and space to think and reflect. I challenge them and empower them to grow in a way that is right for them. I work with people in person or online. My advice is that we work together for a minimum of five sessions with a fortnight or 4 weeks in-between sessions.
We then continue with the sessions for as long as the client finds them useful. I love that right now there are people who I have coached doing things that they never thought they would. People who have better relationships at home and at work because we looked at their work-life balance. And people who just feel happier because they understand themselves more and what makes them tick.
What are your favourite books?
I love Susan Jeffers' book, 'Feel the Fear and do it Anyway'. This is a great book about the decisions that we make in life (big and small). We often think that there is a right decision with good consequences and a wrong decision with bad consequences. As a result, we can often just continue as we are because we are crippled by the fear of making the wrong choice. In this book, Susan Jeffers encourages you to think of decisions not with a good or a bad outcome but with one outcome or a different outcome. That even if the outcome isn't necessarily what we hoped for - that by making a decision and being brave we've put ourselves out there. We've done something new. We've put ourselves out of our comfort zone. We've learnt more about ourselves including maybe what we don't like. We've lived and grown.
Who do you most admire and why?
I admire people who can see a situation for what it is within the culture of when they lived and be brave enough to stand up, to speak out and to continue doing this even though it will mean huge personal sacrifice and cost for them. I remember, Nelson Mandela's book, Long Walk to Freedom having a huge impact on me. Not just the personal cost to himself and his family but even after his imprisonment, his desire to move a whole country forward as a Rainbow Nation - united not segregated. I also admire people who have been hugely successful but remain grounded and humble. I read Michael Caine's book recently, Blowing the Bloody doors off. In this book, he talks about how the first thing he does on a new film set is to introduce himself to everyone as Michael and how important is it no matter how successful you are, to make sure you turn up having learnt all your lines and to be a nice person to work with.
What is the best advice you have ever received?
"Talk to yourself like you would your best friend." I think often we can be our own harshest critic. We would never speak to anyone the way that we talk to ourselves sometimes. I really love this piece of advice because it not only helps me to check my own interval voice but also to take a step back and get a different and less emotive perspective on a situation or problem. I use the power of different perspectives a lot in my coaching of clients. It is a really powerful tool and can have a huge impact on how a person views and feels about a situation in their life.
What motivates or inspires you?
I love making a difference in people's lives. That could be big differences which I've seen in my coaching and teaching career but even a little difference to someone's day like buying the Big Issue and having a chat with the vendor or just a happy, "good morning" and smile as you pass someone on the street. My Dad is brilliant at talking to people wherever he is, cracking a quick joke and making people laugh. I've always marvelled at how he does this so naturally and after a brief interaction, he leaves people smiling.
What would like to highlight and share with our audience?
There are so many good people in this world who spend their time and energy investing in others at work and at home. These people are amazing but often forget to invest in themselves. Even Superman needs to fly off to bathe in the sun's rays and recharge his superpowers! I would say to these amazing people, make sure that you find whatever recharges you (it could be something as simple as a short walk) and make it a priority in your day and week because to stay amazing for all the people we serve, we need to first look after ourselves.